Monday, February 16, 2009

His eyes

Roger had the most amazing eyes.
They were just gorgeous.
I loved looking into them.
They were so green. So pretty.

I remember all those mornings that he barely opened them to say bye as I left for work and he continued to sleep some.
I remember looking into them on our wedding day.
Stealing glances when I came home from work.

The first few times we kissed and he did not close his eyes.
"Why aren't your eyes closed? You are suppose to close your eyes when you kiss."
Roger responded, "Cause I want to see you."
Eventually I would keep my eyes open too.
It was true intimacy to see each other while kissing.

One of the million things that pains me is that after the accident I never got to see him look at me again.
In the hospital, I opened his eye lid to see those beautiful green eyes.
Unfortunately, he did not respond.

In my office, I have several pictures of Roger looking right at me.
I love to look back into those photos.
Pretending he is still looking right at me.
And sometimes, its feels like I can feel him staring at me while I drive.

I miss his stare.
I miss his eyes.
His beautiful green eyes.

1 comment:

Amy said...

Hi Star, I stumlbed across your blog today. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. What a wonderful person Roger was! I'm engaged to be married this July and can't even imagine how you feel. We lost my brother (21yrs old) 5 years ago this past August 23rd in a tragic car accident. He was engaged to be married at the time. So while I have NO idea how you are feeling with the loss of your husband, I can relate somewhat with losing someone you love. It's not easy but I will say that things to get better with TIME. I never believed that until just recently. I still think about my brother every day but lately it's been a pleasant smile he's put on my face rather than tears. Hang in there-it can't get any worse! -Amy in Chicago, IL :)