Thursday, November 6, 2008

What to say, what to say

I was thinking the other day if somehow someway Roger came back today, how things might have changed and what I would want to tell him.
Like how would I catch him up to speed.
At first, it seemed like nothing was different.
At least not for me.
It seems my life hasn't progressed but in small things some ways it has.

Then I started thinking of all the things
I'm so wanting to tell him about.
To get his opinion on.

Like how I've finally decided what I want to be when I grow up.
At least for now.
We talked about this a lot and I just could never really decide.
Yes, I realize that at 28 I should probably know this already.
But since March 2007, I've been debating.

I would love to tell him about my first Halloween Horror Nights.
How stupidly scared I was.
How I almost bruised poor Holly's arm.

I would love to complain with him about the alarm the other week and how the police took way too long. And of course he'd laugh at me for wanting to write a nasty-gram.

I would love to talk about why gas prices are coming down.
What he thought it meant.
What he thought of the stock market.

I would love to be excited with him about this election. What it means in the history books. What it was like for others.
How he was going to vote. Although I know we were both in agreement on this one.
What did he think about each of the amendments.

All the new pregnancies going on.
How much of a hard time he would be giving Eddy and Viv.

And of course I'd love somehow to get his opinions on things now that he gone.
What does he think I should do for Christmas?
What does he think I should do for investing?

Tonight, I was thinking also as I drove past once more the place where the other driver lost control of his car, how I wish Roger would have been conscious for like five minutes after the accident.
So we could have our last moments together.
Time to just say I love you and any last words he wanted to say.
Instead I have our last moments as rambling non-important jibberish about the trip we were about to take.

As I have mentioned, I so miss conversing with him.
On all mind levels.
In seriousness and in silliness.
On everything in between.
I miss the days I'd come home from work and he'd follow me around the house cause he wanted to talk to me.
The days when he would meet me at the door to the garage cause he missed me and he wanted to talk to me.

Oh, how I want to talk to him and Roger to talk to me.

No comments: