Finally November.

Last night ended the week of anniversaries again for another month.
For which I'm very grateful.
I guess I could not count each one but it would not make me forget.
Last night was a biggie for me though.
Yesterday, two years ago, Roger and I got engaged.
On Roger's most favorite holiday.

That night was such a fun night.
I completely surprised him.
I had autumn scented candles at each handmade foam board owl with a little note for him.
Each note had something to do with the room it was located in with a total of four.
The final note I had sitting with me, thankfully.
I watched him from outside go back and forth through the house.
Wondering "What the hell is he thinking?"
Wondering "What the hell was I thinking?"
I had to be sitting.
I thought I was going to throw up, pass out, or all of the above at the exact time.
This is the reason girls do not propose.

When he finally made it outside and I saw his face coming toward me on the patio, I started to cry.
Roger looks at me and asks "Are you proposing?"
I can't say anything.
I just hand him the note (again, thank God I did that!!).
He starts to cry.
I cry harder.
His very romantic reply: "Sure"
"You can't say 'sure'"
"But 'sure' is a positive answer"
"You can't say that"
His final reply to me "Of course"

With tons of people on bated breath waiting to see what happened, we just sat there letting it all sit in.
He kept saying "Wow"
I told him his sister already knew.
"And she didn't tell me?!?"
We were both just so happy.
It was great.

We went inside and of course I had to call/text a ton of people.
But at the same time, we had to get ready for the trick-or-treaters.
So as I put his wizard make up on him, he asks
"When is the wedding?"
"Dude, I didn't get that far."
Our phones are ringing off the hook.
Lots of texts coming through.
I can tell Roger's head is so big.
He is smiling a lot.
And I'm smiling with him.

Last night, I had many offers to go out and do different things.
But I wanted to be home.
I wanted to greet our trick-or-treaters at our house.
I wanted to remember that night.
Remember how happy we were.
How it was the beginning of such a great thing.
Thankfully two good friends came over to help.
I just did not want to be alone but yet not with a lot of people.

Tomorrow is All Saints Sunday at church.
They will read Roger's name out of their book.
At the funeral, November seemed so far away.
But yet, here it is.
Already.
Finally.
And three more weeks of no holidays or anniversaries.

Here are the notes I wrote to him that night with lots of cheesiness and inside jokes:

"Who who who are you?
You are my best 'just friend'.
You are my cup.
You are my candle.
You are the best boyfriend ever.
I'm totally fallen!
And I just love every part of you.
Find the spot of our first kissing lesson."

"Here is the place where we first kissed.
You 'begged' me to come over for cake, naps, and massages.
I'm so glad I started giving you these kissing lessons.
You make each of my days a little brighter.
Find the next owl where all seven of your pillows normally lay."

"I adore falling asleep next to you.
Every day that I wake with you, my heart is happy.
Lying in your arms with your head next to mine is heaven.
I love you! I love each inch of you.
Find the next owl in your room of study."

"I want to study you and know you better each day.
I'm so happy for the way we met and how you have broken down my walls.
The way you smile, the way you walk, the way you laugh, the way you tease me, the way you say your cheesy lines all make me the most fortunate girl in the world.
I feel so incredibly blessed that we have found each other.
Go get some fresh hair and see what stars you see outside."

"Now that we have formed a foundation, I want to start to build our 'house'.
I want to spend my rainy days and bright sunny days with you.
I want to share our good times and our bad times together.
I choose you.
You are handsome and charming.
You are a good man and love me just the way I am.
I adore you.
I admire you.
I respect you.
I will love you always.
Please marry me and be my husband."