Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Motorcycle is sold

My dear Roger on his bike after we bought it in 2006.

I am still in shock it is really gone.  
For real, it is really gone.
No longer sitting all lonely in my garage.

First I had to wait to get the proper paperwork.  Got to love the court system and lawyers.
Then when I tried to start it the first time - nada.
And through two very generous friends with their time, knowledge, and some weird techy looking stuff, they got it running better than ever [Thank you both for helping me so much with it.  And protecting me from bad people trying to rip me off].
The battery just needed to be charged and the gas cleaned out.  
It ran so beautifully.
Better than even before.

And I knew I would be a little sad when it went.
I knew it would feel like a little more of Roger was leaving the house.
A little more of him was being erased.

I cried the first time Sean started it.
And although I did not cry as it was being put onto a back of a truck, I wanted to.
But since it was a stranger loading it I couldn't.  But I could see the above picture in head.  Roger was so excited about owning a motorcycle.  
And I knew this new owner would love it like Roger did.
I did not cry a drop.
Till now.
Till looking at that photo.

This new owner was super excited.
He called me all day today.
Checking to make sure it was not sold.
Letting me know each step of the way.
"I got the money."
"My wife is going home to get the truck."
"I am meeting my wife at 5:30 with the truck."
"I am on this and this road."
"It is still there, right?"

I also sold the riding jacket and the gloves and the helmet.  
More stuff gone.
More of Roger's stuff gone.  

I am sure tomorrow as I come home and the garage is empty it will hit me.
I will realize it is truly not here.
Roger is not here.
More of his stuff is not here.
A little more evidence of his life is gone.



Anonymous said...

I am sure Roger would approve - he would want his bike to be driven and enjoyed. He would also understand that you have to slowly move on with your life - not be choice, but necessity.

Crash Course Widow said...

It may not ever really hit you the way you expect, Star. I always/often have expected to have the massive backlash after getting rid of "loaded" Charley belongings--all his bike stuff (donated about 16 months after he died), the bike he died on, clothes, other stuff. Maybe my memory is just getting hazy, but I don't remember huge backlashes. Sometimes having them gone was easier than seeing them every day, sometimes there was just nothing...no good, no bad reaction...just...nothing; something else moved in to occupy the "pain" space the just-departed possessions had just vacated.

I can't think of anything of Charley's that I regret getting rid of. I do, however, have some irritations and/or regrets about some things I do still have, which I no longer really wish to have. But...I got rid of things on my own terms, on my own schedule. Which helped.

Good for you for surviving "losing" the bike. Sometimes it's the little (and the big) things like special possessions that really knock us upside the head more.


Supa Dupa Fresh said...

My experience mirrors Candice's. I never had much backlash, though it was very hard to get rid of things. Why?
It just was.
I'll be interested to hear if you feel any differently as time goes by. Of course, my feelings could change too... time still passes for me, even at almost 3 years and remarried.