Tuesday, March 31, 2009


I went to Australia Christmas 2004 and stayed till after New Year's 2005.
It was a great trip.   The people. The weather. Just enjoyable.
I went alone. 
I learned a lot about myself.
It was also the beginning of me realizing I could not be a traveling consultant anymore.  
I realized being a consultant was bad for my morality.
It was bad for my mental health.
It was making me vulnerable and I was making bad life decisions.  

While I was there, I bought a boomerang.
I think everyone who visits Australia buys one or two or three.
They are absolutely everywhere at every price range.  
My friends who went there on their honeymoon have one too.
It is like a requirement to bring a boomerang home.

When I moved in with Roger, we hung mine in our bedroom.
It was right over the door.
Since boomerangs always come back, we wanted to always come back together in our bedroom.
We may have our separate lives during the day at work, with friends, having our hobbies, but at the end of the day, we return together back to the bedroom.  

When we moved into "our house", we placed it again above the bedroom door.  
And even when I painted the room in January, I put it right back up.  
Maybe because I really wanted Roger to return.
To come home.
To come back to the bedroom.
God knows I miss him there.

Last night, the boomerang fell.
Not sure why.
Not sure how.
But it fell off the wall and was resting right behind the door.
It was slightly scary hearing something behind the door as I opened it as I was getting ready for bed.

Geez, why?
Why did it have to fall?
I tried to put it back up without a ladder or chair but it was not happening.
So I just threw it back on the ground.
Fine, just stay on the floor.

I guess I will put it back up.
Maybe it needs a new room.


Split-Second Single Father said...

I have just run across your blog, but can already tell I will be returning. Thanks for your willingness to put yourself out there and help others along the way.

Apologies for the "form letter" below:

I am working on a comprehensive listing of widow/er blogs and have just added yours to the list. Please feel free to e-mail me if you know of other blogs that should be listed, or if you do not wish to be listed, at splitsecondsinglefather@yahoo.com. It is so hard to find these blogs through regular web searches, and I would like to help change that. At least for now, there will be a growing, categorized list in at least one place. Thanks for helping others who are on a similar journey. Best regards, 3SF

Supa Dupa Fresh said...

While my husband was ill there were all sort of omens. They really got to me.
After he died, though, if I had some "sign" (I'm not new agey, but I do wax poetical) that he was near it was a comfort.


P.S. I will write more about hormones soon! Promise.