It is still scaring me but I am trying to ride this wave for as long as I can.
I need this.
I need this high.
I need this relief.
I need this fresh air.
I need every second of this.
Today I tried to ride it even a little longer and a little further.
A friend of mine from high school is here and he wanted to go to Disney.
So we headed out to Animal Kingdom after I got out of class.
It was a great theme park day. Not too hot and the lines were not awful.
Although the park was packed (What recession?), we got to do one of the roller coasters, Expedition Everest, twice.
It is my most favorite roller coaster.
It is probably my most favorite roller coaster in Orlando.
The last time I rode it of course was with Roger.
We went the first year they opened this new ride.
It goes backwards and forwards.
In and out of darkness.
It is just the best.
And very smooth.
I could remember the time we visited this park last.
But I did not cry.
Instead, I just could remember and smile.
Today, the first time we rode the coaster, my friend sat with me.
The second time, he rode with his other friend and I sat alone.
But that is okay.
I do not mind being alone.
I am alone a lot.
And I can survive a real live roller coaster ride alone.
I do it all day long mentally.
As I screamed and giggled and laughed at myself for being so scared, I just wanted to look over and see Roger.
I could almost feel him next to me.
I could almost feel our hands reaching for each others.
And instead of crying, I smiled.
The second course of therapy today involved a drive home, extreme tiredness, good friends, and some good music.
As the music was blaring, I found myself clapping, singing along, and dancing.
I was smiling so hard.
It was great.
It was a great ending to the session.
Therapy was great today.
Even if untraditional.