Wednesday, April 1, 2009

No motivation

I cannot tell if it is stress.
Or grief.
Or iron deficiency.
Or something else.
Or all of the above.

But I have no energy.
No motivation.
I cannot get off my ass to get anything beyond just normal daily chores done.
And even those take forever.

I have an aloe plant that desperately needs to be planted.
It cries out to me everyday.
But I just cannot get the motivation and/or energy to get a shovel, dig a hole, and put it in the ground.

I have two plants that are dead.
Like brown dead.
Roger planted them before he died.
Before the accident.
I really need to throw them out.  
I need to just dig them up and throw them out.
The best thing is that I could take above aloe and put it in the whole but...

Then there is the aquarium stand.
I got the second coat of stain on it.
But it is still not ready to come into the house.
It needs a third coat.
And it is not that hard to do.
It is fairly simple but again no energy.
No motivation.  

I need a new air conditioning filter.
I need to figure out the front yard landscaping.
I need to do homework for class.

Not getting done.

I am just getting by with the bare minimum.
I empty the dishwasher when there are no spoons left.  
I am even resorting to using Roger's spoons.
And I hate those spoons.

The trash gets taken out when it is absolutely full.
The things in the fridge that need to be thrown out are still in there.  

It is so frustrating to me to feel this way.
I want to be productive.
I want to check things off the list.

I am hoping this passes.
It is just hard to do everything myself.
It is hard knowing I am the only one to get things done.
It is a bit overwhelming.  

So things are piling up.
Maybe if things get dirty enough...
Or plants are dead enough... 
Oh well.

At least I have a widow card that fits.  

1 comment:

Mamie Hall said...

I totally understand that feeling. I pray that it passes quickly, but know that you are not alone in it and that there is absolutely nothing wrong with decompression time!