God, I Just Need to Spoon

Today is the 23rd... 

Or at least it was a few minutes ago.  

The stupid wedding anniversary.

My stupid wedding anniversary.  

I hate the 23rd.

It is painful.

It sucks.

It drains me.

Even when I do not realize it.

Like today.

I remember the days were I counted down to the 23rd.  

I could not wait for it to be here.

I even had a countdown.  

Now I dread it.

Every month.

Each. And. Every. Month.

Today was fine.

Not a huge deal.

Until I realized I am/was cranky.

Until I realized I am/was weepy.

Until I realized I felt flustered.

And all I want.

All I really really want is to be held.

To feel the warmth of a man surrounding me.  

Wrapped around me.  

The comfort.

The feeling is so strong.

The urge is so consuming. 

I just want to cry in someone's arms.  

Nice strong warm arms.  

I feel so alone today.  

In a midst of friends, I feel alone.