Friday, April 3, 2009

"Single"


Sigh...
I made big steps today.
Big steps for me.
Big steps for the facebook world.
I changed my marital status to single.

Wow.
It was hard.
Why?
It is just a stupid webpage.
It is just a stupid social networking site.

Do people even care?
Do people even really pay attention to me?
It is not like people did not know my "status".
It is not like people were checking to see.
"Has she changed her marital status yet? Nope, not today. Maybe tomorrow."

No.
It is just me.
It is just something inside my head.

I had it set to "it's complicated" because that is how I truly felt.
I did not feel single.
I still feel sorta married.
But technically I am not.

And I do not really want to be.
But I felt it was the right step.  
A step in moving forward even if inches at a time.
Maybe just a centimeter.  

2 comments:

Jenny said...

I cannot come up with words to respond to this post. Every blog of yours I read, I just want to hug you. Know you are in many people's thoughts.

suddenwidow said...

Star,
Thank you for your blog. I can relate to so many things that you've written about. My husband died 16 days ago and though I'm still in a fog of unbearable sadness, some of the grey clouds are starting to move a little and there are tiny rays of hope, including many of your words on this blog. Thank you for giving me hope.