Sunday, April 5, 2009

Still don't remember...

It is beyond frustrating having a moment of your life disappear.
I remember almost everything.
I can recall things from when I was three and four.
I can recall names of ex-girlfriends of my friends even when they cannot.  
So to have even just sixty seconds completely gone is making me insane.  

I thought perhaps if I sat inside a similar car maybe something would come back.  
Maybe just being in the same car and repositioning myself I would remember just a little more.
Maybe remember his shirt.
Remember if I said something.
Remember if he said anything.
I still do not know his last words.
Maybe remember what happened from impact through my current memory of getting out of the car.

Today, I got a chance to sit in a friend's car.
I sat there.
And I sat there.
And nothing.
I repositioned myself.
Took off my shoes.
Tried to remember.

I started to get upset.
At me.
At the world.

And the cool part about everything, my guy friends came over to rescue me.
Because I probably would have just sat there all night.
But they came over and opened the door.
They made sure I was okay.

And I am okay.
But I still do not remember a damn thing...